This entry on your journey to success is continued from Part 1: Success is a Choice. It does not matter, really, which you read first. Not one of these ten elements is more important than the others.
6. Ego. I have written a lot concerning the ego, and the dangers of allowing it to rule your life. However, there is an important role the ego plays, and that is its never-ending demand to keep moving. This is important because you cannot continue along any journey by standing still. I have yet to meet a successful person who did not have a healthy ego. Those who merely wear the garments of success, but are actually very unhappy and confused by their life when you get to know them, are those who have become slaves to their ego’s. (Usually from trying to deny the ego for too long.)
At first your ego will urge you on towards your success, but as you approach your goals, and your life begins to change, it will also then try to undermine your efforts. It will question your worthiness: Who are you to be doing this? Do you really think you’re better than those who have tried this and failed? Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
As you become more successful, it is generally your ego that others will try to attack. Their words will echo your own. Keep an objective perspective. Remind yourself why your goals are important.
The best way to keep your ego balanced through the ups and downs of your journey to success, is to ensure your goals are not only going to benefit you alone, and to use your success to help as many others as you possibly can. This will diffuse your ego and help protect you from criticism you are going to face from it, and from those are around you who will try to attack it.
7. Path. Your life is collaboration: between you and the world around you. Your life path is a path through time and space, where you and the world have met, and agree. To be successful, you must take the world around you into consideration. When I was a child, I dreamt of becoming a pilot, an artist, or a writer. However, as I grew up, I began to realize that being colour blind might give me more challenges than I needed before I could fly at night, or make a living painting. So I became a writer. Many questioned even this choice. The odds of success seemed unlikely. When I was a teenager, who expected such things as the internet, or blogs, or print on demand technology to be waiting for us in the years ahead? Yet, these things all appeared at times that were perfect for me… and each led me towards meeting a brilliant agent and a wonderful new publisher exactly when I was ready to meet them.
I’m not suggesting you quit your job, leave your family, and set out to invent the first warp engine, or even the first electric light bulb. However, I am suggesting that you listen to your heart, and watch the world around you. They may not be in synch today, but the world evolves, as do you. Watch and listen as you proceed towards your goals, and let the world around you collaborate towards your success.
8. Time. Use time to your advantage by setting realistic short-term and long-term goals. It takes time to learn new skills, and even more time to begin the process of mastering those skills to any degree of success. Depending on how much practice you may already have under your belt, it is almost always best to think in terms of years, rather than months. We know that anyone who invests 10,000 hours in developing a new skill, will develop a mastery of that skill. That means if you practice the guitar, for example, for two hours every single day, you will have reached 10,000 hours sometime in the autumn of your 13th year. Don’t let that discourage you! Your skills will rise very quickly at first, and then curve off with succeeding years. After only a year, you’ll be “not too bad”, and after two years you’ll be “pretty damn good”. Improvement between the 12th and 13th years will be subtle and almost unnoticeable to anyone but yourself.
9. Friends. You have heard the phrase, no man is an island, right? Right? I don’t know anyone who has become successful without the support and friendship of others, and who has not also been a friend to others. You cannot make the journey to success alone. Friends give us the support we need in the bad times, and make celebration of the good times even more enjoyable.
Make friends with successful people who can be your mentors, by showing you what they have done to get to the place you are going. If you cannot meet them in person, read their books, subscribe to their blogs, and take courses. Some of my most important friends are people I have never met, and who died before I was even born. I have read their books though. And their friendship has been invaluable to me.
Secondly, make friends with people who are in a similar position as you, so you can compare notes, bounce ideas off each other, and contribute to one another’s passion and energy.
Thirdly, make friends with people who have just started on the journey of success you have already begun. Helping others, and teaching others, is an excellent method of learning more yourself.
10. Critics. In this context, there are three kinds of critics. The first critic is the person who has enough respect for you to tell you the truth as they see it. This person is a rare find. He or she will tell you things honestly, without too much regard for bruising your feelings. This person is most likely to be your best friend when times are tough, not because he holds your hand, but because he can help you see what went wrong, and will give you the information you need to try again. Embrace these people.
The second critic is the person who sees they may lose something in their relationship with you if you begin to your journey to success. They will present alternatives that have little to do with your goals, but usually have a lot to do with their own. This may be the friend who prefers you go bowling with him, rather than work those extra hours Thursday night. It may be the employer who sees your energy and your abilities and fears you will quit your job, and wants to harness your talents for her own goals. It may be the spouse who worries that if you change too much, you may lose your commonality. It is usually best to listen and to reassure them of their real fears, and find ways that your own goals will enhance your relationship to them, rather than to debate your goals and values with them.
The third critic is actually one of my favourite people. You will meet many in your first steps along your journey to success. However, as time goes by, distance will quickly separate you, and there will be fewer and fewer new ones trying to take their place on the path ahead. These are people who, for their own reasons – usually based on their own insecurity and regrets – will try to knock you down to size, and try to make you see that only failure will present itself to you. They will often get angry with you, and may ridicule you.
When such critics present themselves, I generally write down what they say, so I will never, ever forget. Then, I add them to my list of goals: To prove them Wrong. On a few occasions, when times were very hard, it was only my desire to prove these critics wrong that kept me going. You can call it spite if you wish, but that is not the word I would use. What is important is that these critics inadvertently provided me with the energy I needed at times when I was broke, homeless, and wondering where my next meal might come from. Someday, I plan to write each one of them a thank you letter. It really is not spite. They have been very important to me on my own journey to success.
If this has been useful to you, you might want to follow up on my recent article on how to Define Leadership.
Related posts:
{ 1 trackback }
{ 2 comments }
Thank you for this.
You help me more than you can possibly know.
Brilliant!
Comments on this entry are closed.