It’s time for the narrow path folks. The razor’s edge. It’s Indiana Jones time, on a rickety bridge, rapids below and a thousand spear-wielding yahoos coming right up on your ass. It’s time to do something, to make something of your life, to prove your peers and family wrong before you finally admit to yourself that they might have been right all along.
Hindsight is Overrated. In hindsight, sure, it would have been a good idea to work a little more than you did. Learn a skill. Read a couple books. Take a course. Today, we all know that if you had invested 10,000 hours into any skill, you would be a genius in that area of expertise by now. But no one told you that 10,000 hours ago, did they? And there are few opportunities for television gurus, Nintendo whiz-kids, or expert masturbators than you might have thought. Fortunately for you, hindsight is as overrated as talent these days. You just need a few hours, some moxy, and a plan. And you don’t even really need a plan.
What is personal branding? You don’t really need to concern yourself with this. This was a term coined by Tom Peters back in the late 1990′s. He actually wrote a book about it. His idea was this: whatever you do, do it so well that people will equate your name with a high degree of excellence in your chosen field. Today, however, we can easily see how this way of thinking is just a bit backwards. It takes years to become a better person. Why do that, when you can brand yourself in only 3 to 6 months?
How to brand yourself. The following instructions are not really mine. They have come from studying a couple professional self-branding experts, and I have combined their strategies into one sure-fire recipe for success.
- Get a following. Jump onto a few social networking platforms, like Twitter, Google Buzz, and Facebook. Get as many friends and followers as you can. Follow everyone, befriend everyone, and if they don’t return the favour, drop them and find more people who will. Keep details about yourself to a minimum at this point.
- Ask for help. Ask the people in your group what interests them most and then ask for information, advice, and directions to the best websites in that area.
- Start your own websites. Build websites for free using wordpress or blogger, devoted to the subjects that are most popular in your group and/or following. Take the advice and information that others gave you in step 2, and put it on your websites.
- Be Active. Keep yourself on the forefront of everyone’s minds by updating your status regularly, tweeting out cliches and quotes from other people.
- Offer to help. If someone asks a question and you are able to answer it, ask that person to visit your website and provide a testimonial, attesting to the fact that you helped them.
- Solidify your position. As soon as you are able to get a half dozen people to provide you with these testimonials on any one of your web pages, delete all your other pages.
- Dump everyone who helped you. This includes anyone who asks why you stopped giving them credit for the assistance they provided you, or why you stopped using their name in the quotes you now tweet out as if they were your own. Drop them. Block them. Whatever. This is the same tactic Joseph Stalin used to get to the top and it will work for you too. Those you now spurn would actually thank you if they had the chance, because you are now ready to take that next step and…
- Brand Yourself. Declare yourself an expert in that area. Write a biography explaining how you became an expert, describe your rags to riches story, and the years of work you put into your area of expertise. Invest a few dollars in your own hosted web page. Put a TM next to your name. Use the copyright symbol everywhere you can, next to your name. Re-write someone else’s e-book and offer to sell it for a reasonable profit. Offer to read from that book at any event that will have you.
- Cash in. Ka-ching! Look yourself in the mirror. Breathe deep the vapours of self-satisfaction, knowing that you have made it to the top. Take a picture of yourself and post it to your website. Your success will be marginal, and certainly short-lived. But you will always know that you made it to the top faster and with a lot less effort than those fools who invested time and effort into becoming genuine leaders. Twenty percent of your following will never know the difference. And of those who do know the difference, let me assure you, less than half will actually ask for that full refund you guaranteed them. If more than half of them do, or if anyone starts talking about lawyers…
- Delete everything altogether and go back to step 1. And we’ll all meet you here at Step 10 in another 3 to 6 months.
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{ 9 comments }
“Dump everyone who helped you.”
I’m not sure why you included this David, but that’s a really poor way of building a brand. I assume you’re being sarcastic because if you burn your supporters, the karma will come back to bite you. It will also spread bad word of mouth, which will attract negative attention to your brand.
Hi Dan,
Thanks for stopping by! You are absolutely right, of course. But there are people out there who think this way, as I’m sure you know. I was dumped by one such person recently, which was the inspiration for this little article. Speaking of karma, I almost included him as a case study, but decided to leave him alone and let him enjoy the appearance of substance and integrity, while he spends his days hacking out mediocre advice from his luxurious basement apartment. Smart people interested in branding would do well to visit your site http://www.personalbrandingblog.com or http://www.TomPeters.com.
Hot dayum David, have you move into guru status? Grumbly Guru David Weedmark kicks Social Media in the pants while stealing it’s wallet.
Good funky stuff my friend… I’ll be watching you.
Ha! The highest title I’ve ever aspired to was “poet”. Unlike guru’s, a poet, by charter, cannot lift wallets. On occasion, however, we have been known to shoplift Kraft Dinner from the grocery store. And tomato soup. Once.
OK I am late on this. But your coming along well David proud of you.
Solid advice. I hope you understand if I take it with a grain – or a cup – of salt
This could so be about me right now apart from I haven’t dumped you, yet!
The minute I clicked on the link in Twitter I wondered, “Does that mean I think _I_ am dumb?”
Nah, personal branding was the subject of my post today and I was curious what others were saying.
Sorry you got dumped.
I’ve had nothing but trouble with this article! When I started it, I was thinking about “personal branding for dummies” and it was going to be serious. But I was in both a sarcastic state of mind (which after facetiousness I believe is the highest form of humour
and thoughtful of the Dummies’ copyright. Maybe I should have named it, how to watch for fake gurus, and written it from that perspective. Maybe next time.
And I don’t mind being dumped. Over the course of that period it cost me maybe two hours and teaching others (or trying to) is a great way to learn more yourself.
Thanks Tammi.
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